Published: April 25, 2008 01:46 pm            

You can’t freeze time: Appreciate the small moments

“Mom! I brought drinks!” At 3 a.m. all I could do was laugh. Lately, Mike and I have been graced with middle-of-the-night visits from our youngest seeking both body heat and company. Luckily, she generally cuddles up and falls asleep. Yet, it’s not just Bethany invading the bed. She also brings a wide variety of stuffed animals, blankets and at least two pacifiers. On this night, she evidently thought we might be thirsty, so she also brought her sippy cup of water which she passed to all. In keeping with the party spirit, she proceeded to tell a lengthy story that was either her embellished version of some book we’ve read or her latest dream — it was hard to tell. Nevertheless, she got so excited telling the story she soon had us giggling. As we cuddled in the dark laughing and talking, I wished I could freeze time. Though sleep is precious, such moments are stolen joy.

Parenting is full of such treasures. What matches the delight of your baby looking into your eyes, recognizing your face, and breaking into a grin? Then, there’s the magic of the first time he calls you Mama or Dada, her first step, or the first kiss baby bestows on you. Can any of us help but feel important when our baby calms merely at the sound of our voice, uses every ounce of strength and motor coordination just to move into the same room with us or shouts with glee at our return? Each of these build a connection and create a new opportunity to fall in love with the little person we’ve been given. Why can’t we freeze them here?

But, if we did we would miss the treasures of our child’s definite preferences and traits. Our tots grant us endless fashion shows as they toss aside our perfectly matched outfits for more creative ensembles. Where else will you find a frilly top paired with snow pants and waders? They free us from worrying about all those complicated meals when they introduce us to the simple pleasures of macaroni and cheese, raisins and Fruit Roll-Ups. With them, we relive the wonder of discovering an elephant in the clouds, listening to a frog croaking in the spring night or delighting in the smell of a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie. As they slip their tiny hands into ours, we encounter the delight of simply holding hands with someone you love. And every nightly kiss is a reminder of the power of human touch. Why can’t we freeze them here?

If we did, we’d miss the challenge and excitement of lengthy discussions of politics, the purpose of life, and the intricacies of human relationships with our teens. We’d lose the insight we gain from their fresh perspectives and sometimes unexpected maturity and depth. As they balance work, sports, school, friends, community service and family, they remind us of the capacity of humans to work hard and enjoy life all at the same time. They enter high school looking small, awkward and lost, but by graduation they transition into mature, confident men and women right before our eyes. Suddenly, they are adults who can advise, inform and take charge. And, we get to be part of this. As we live life alongside our teens, we get the opportunity to be re-energized by their youth, refreshed by their enthusiasm, and broadened by their perspectives.

The pay is lousy, the hours are long, and the chance for promotion or vacations is nonexistent. On paper, parenting is a dead-end job. But, where else will you find someone willing to jump up from whatever they are doing and run gleefully to the door shouting your name just because you’re home? Who else would carry your garbage to the curb every week just because you asked? And who else would interrupt their peaceful night of sleep to make sure you got to share a great story and a sip of water? We can’t freeze time, but we can mine every nugget of stolen joy along the way.

Tess Worrell is the mother of eight and teaches parenting and marriage. E-mail her at tess@family-matters. us.

        

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