Published: May 21, 2008 03:57 pm            

Women’s group drops mom bomb

There’s this organization in Long Island, N.Y., called “Mingling Moms.” Cute name for a networking group — but get this: they voted Dina Lohan (mother of Lindsay Lohan, the actress) as “Top Mom.”

Okay, maybe I read it wrong. Maybe it was the “Ding-a-ling Moms.” Or the “Mimosa Moms.”

Could be I’m misunderstanding their term, “Top Mom” — perhaps they mean “top” as in “spinning out of control.” Or perhaps it’s just a weird list: “Top Mom” of all the stage-door mothers with young daughters who’ve been in rehab for illegal drug use and drunk driving. Maybe Dina Lohan is a shining star when compared to, say, Mrs. Mengele, Dr. Josef’s mom.

All I know is I’m not the only one who thought this award was, um, rather oddly given. The press was hounding Bungling, I mean, Mingling Moms president Erica Logiudice asking, “Why Dina Lohan?”

Indeed.

When I think of Top Moms, I think of Susanna Wesley, or Monica, mother of St. Augustine, or Julie Andrews (a top stepmom) in “The Sound of Music.” Even Mother Theresa, for heaven’s sake.

But Dina Lohan?

Hmmm.

I’m not going to say the way kids turn out is always a reflection of their moms (although moms inevitably think it is), but there is an ideal associated with motherhood that frankly, my impression of Dina Lohan just doesn’t meet.

I’m a mom, and it’s the hardest job I’ve ever had. Although it didn’t come with a list of core requirements, I always believed it entailed training, protection, nurturing, self-sacrifice (most noticeably in the waistline) and going without enough money, time or sleep for 18 years — minimum.

Motherhood is a sacred thing (not to mention necessary). It’s much more than biologically reproducing. And it’s ever so much more than hosting a reality show on how to raise a socialite à la Kathy Hilton (mother of party girl Paris).

It’s about giving the world its next generation. It’s about determining the future. So perhaps we should be careful what (or whom) we esteem.

I’m lucky to live in a community where I see top moms every day. I know many women who understand the loving balance between discipline and affection, who are good at pretending they’re not tired, and have never once uttered a complaint about trading in the sports coupe for a minivan. These are women who understand the need for parameters (and can live with their kids’ displeasure). And, as a result, their children are a delight to be around.

Trouble is, this is all hard work. And not glamorous. Pay is low, hours are long, and patience is earned at a premium. But it seems this kind of investment yields much better dividends.

I suppose it all depends on what you want.

Perhaps I should start my own chapter of Mingling (not Mengele) Moms. We may not have many celebrity moms in our midst, but by golly, we recognize a pig in a poke.

Lynnell Knight is a Zionsville resident and writer. E-mail her at on.her.soapbox@sbcglobal.net.

        

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