I like the costumes, and I like the jack-o-lanterns, but I love the candy.
Yup, I’m human and I have my favorite treats, too. Halloween is the rare time when I don’t flip the package over and read the nutrition label to check out the contents; and if I did, it would steal the magic. High fructose corn syrup. Check. Chemical dyes. Check. Artificial flavors. Check. Pounds of nutrition-less calories. Check. Nougat. Check. What is nougat, anyway? Nevermind, ignorance is bliss.
Candy is one of those things you just don’t mess with on Halloween unless you want an unsparing backlash. Go ahead and try it if you want. Many have tried healthier options before. Popcorn balls, raisins, bags of nuts, toothbrushes. Nice try. All you get is a gutter or mailbox full of your good intentions…if the little ghouls are feeling merciful. So let’s just go with the flow on this one and focus on damage control.
My primary concern is not what goes into the bag on Halloween, but what makes it into your mouth, and this is where you do have a choice. I will address you parents, or should I say “scavengers” first, with a couple of simple Halloween candy tips.
1) The bag of candy is for your children. They did the work, they get the “fruit” of their labor. Keep your mitts out of it and your regrets will be minimal.
2) Don’t buy your favorite candy to pass out. Do you really think you will leave it alone? Pick something you can resist. At my house we don’t buy M&M’s because I have no resistance to their powers (they literally have my initials on them).
3) The leftover candy you were passing out needs to leave your house. The last kid to ring your doorbell is a winner. Load them up with the all the remaining candy, especially if you were a fool and chose your favorite candy (see No. 2).