Zionsville Times Sentinel

Commentary

October 31, 2012

A different mask

National bologna day passed last week with no media frenzy or fanfare, so don’t feel badly if you missed it. I didn’t partake in bologna eating festivities, but did do a little poking around the Internet to see what kind of bologna information I could find. Punchbowl.com states that “Americans eat 800 million pounds of bologna annually.” That is a lot of bologna, which is not to be confused with a lot of baloney (also known as lies).

I grew up eating bologna, but am still a little surprised by that 800 million pounds number. Seriously, how many bologna masks would a kid have to eat to get anywhere near that number? In case you never did it, a bologna mask is made by biting holes for eyes and a mouth in a slice of bologna and then putting it on your face while yelling, “Mom! Look at me!” I ate at least one bologna mask per week for at least five years of my childhood. That is roughly 52 ounces each year for a total of 260 ounces, or just over 16 pounds. Most of that bologna was consumed as a mask or the occasional sandwich.

For the full column, see Wednesday's paper.

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