Zionsville Times Sentinel

January 1, 2014

Slide on in for some sliders

Zionsville Times Sentinel

---- — While trolling around the Internet last week, I saw that it is possible to buy a White Castle scented candle. I truly cannot think of a more thoroughly disgusting smell than that of a slider.

Don't get me wrong; I love White Castle burgers, but they do not smell pleasant. Belly bombs and I go way back in a kind of love/hate relationship.

Our family has a tradition of taking our youngest members and initiating them at the porcelain palace as soon as their two bottom teeth sprout. Most of the children in our family fell in love at first bite, just like their parents. Each of my three children, alas, has been a gigantic disappointment in the White Castle category. None of them like gut bombs.

Many years ago, a friend was visiting me from the East Coast. She had never had a White Castle burger, so I felt it was my duty as a Hoosier to introduce her to my beloved burgers. This friend was an adventurous eater, but balked when I ordered two burgers for her. We had already eaten dinner, so I thought two burgers was the perfect amount.

We ate our burgers, then ran into the grocery to buy a few things. Upon returning to the car, we were greeted by that smell only a White Castle burger can produce. She wrinkled up her nose a bit, and I informed her that the smell she was being accosted with was the exact same smell she would be greeted with in the morning when they started working their intestinal magic. I wonder if that is what the White Castle scented candle smells like.

See Wednesday's Times Sentinel for the full story.